I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.
Looking closer, the sentence contains several distinct signals:
“The key is to understand that this feedback isn’t just feedback — it’s a vital cue about the relationship. The reason this works so well has to do with the way our brains are built. But when we receive an authentic, crystal-clear signal of social trust, belonging, and high expectations, the floodgates click open.”
Coyle offers three, relevant lessons for leaders and coaches based on this finding:
Looking closer, the sentence contains several distinct signals:
- You are part of this group.
- This group is special; we have higher standards here.
- I believe you can reach those standards.
“The key is to understand that this feedback isn’t just feedback — it’s a vital cue about the relationship. The reason this works so well has to do with the way our brains are built. But when we receive an authentic, crystal-clear signal of social trust, belonging, and high expectations, the floodgates click open.”
Coyle offers three, relevant lessons for leaders and coaches based on this finding:
- First, connect: like John Wooden said, they can’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
- Highlight the group: seek ways (traditions, mantras, fun little rituals) to show what it means to belong in your crew.
- Don’t soft-pedal high standards. Don’t pretend that it’s easy — do the opposite. Emphasize the toughness of the task, and your belief that they have what it takes.
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